Restless

It's another hot day and I'm starting to get annoyed. Well, my skin is annoyed already. It's itching. We haven't had rain for seven weeks! Oh well, at least we are having a proper summer. I'm drinking some ice-coffee. I didn't have vanilla ice-cream or whipped cream so I used chocolate ice-cream and milk. It's tasty anyway.  T, my social worker, was here today. I hadn't seen him since the beginning of June because I once cancelled on him, he once cancelled on me and then he was on his four week long summer-vacation. We sat on the balcony and just talked. He fell  in love with our new kitten. He couldn't take his eyes of the cat, cuddled him, played with him and blantly said he wants to steal the kitten. Haha. I updated him a bit on the events in my life. He told me to talk with my psychiatrist about doing a proper plan about what to do when he has left the center. Because I probably will end up without a psych-contact for a few months again. It was good to see T again. I somehow need to be social. I like talking with people. I love discussions. Today I especially hate my social anxiety!

I'm still on the Seroquel. Yesterday I was dizzy all day long and I felt really weird and uncomfortable. It just felt like there was poison in my veins. It was terrible. But I was somehow more focused. I could read for hours, I wrote a few poems and I even vaccuumed the whole apartment. Today I feel really restless, especially in my legs. I'm close to going insane! Moving the legs doesn't help. I exercised for 30 minutes and still, restless. I hope this is only temporarily. I remember that being on Zyprexa caused me restless legs too. And Abilify even gave me akathisa. That was terrible! I hope this restlessness will not turn into that state. Anyway, so far, although it's quite annoying, I can handle the restlessness. I mean, for weeks I have had the same kind of sensation while I was trying to reduce the Propavan. The dizziness has almost disappeared. I felt a bit dizzy this morning but it wasn't as bad as the last two days. I have kind of lost my appetite and can't eat much. Really, the thing that I'm most concerned about right now is this restlessness.

I have also had some positive effects: Seroquel helps me fall asleep. I am knocked out within 45 minutes by it. It also takes away the nightmares I usually have from the Propavan. I feel alright when I wake up. So I'm not giving up on this yet. I have decided to at least take it until Monday. I'll call my psychiatrist and discuss with him what to do. I hope the restlessness and the uncomfortable feeling has disappeared by then. 

My boyfriend is off from work for three weeks now. It feels good to know that I won't have a lot of lonely moments in the next few weeks.