Ennui

My whole body is tensed, totally alert. I feel like as if I'm getting a seizure anytime soon. But I know it's just exhaustion. I still can't sleep, I still can't rest. I wonder if I should just try to not take a Propavan tonight. I can't get any worse than with the med. I'm so annoyed by this lack of proper sleep!

I spent the major part of yesterday with watching DVDs. My brain was all mushy afterwards. I couldn't focus so I just laid on back, starring at the ceiling. Great way to spend an evening. Not. We watched three episodes of "The Walking Dead". I was expecting it to be in C-quality. I love zombie-movies, especially the older ones from the 1930s, but let's face it, most zombie-movies are kind of trashy. But "The Walking Dead" is really well-made, it has a proper story. Then we watched "The Bourne Legacy". It's an okay movie. I'm starting to get tired of movies that all kind of have the same story and the same characters. There's a weak woman, a strong man and some kind of government-conspiracy. Dull.

I have sent in my applications for the two courses I'm planning to take during the autumn-semester. I chose Russian 1 and The History of Ideas 2. We'll see if I get in. It could be that I'm still  registered for the Master's program in literary studies which I started studying last semester but then had to go on a sick-leave. So I'm not too sure if I can actually study something else. Mmm. I'm quite satisfied with my choice of taking internet-based courses, I don't have to face my social anxiety and the isolation that's caused by my Avoidant Personality Disorder doesn't need to be broken. Ha! 

My plans for today are quite boring. I need to exercise and vaccuum. Then I'll have to finish an e-mail and a letter I've been writing. I just hope that my anxiety will stay on a tolerable level today.