I still got a headache. I guess I need to take more painkillers although I really don't want to as they made me throw up yesterday. Blergh. I was supposed to meet my social worker today but we rescheduled, again. He only wanted to meet me today so we could call the psych center today. And as I done that already yesterday on my own, he preferred meeting on Friday instead. It's fine with me as I'm in a period right now where I really want to avoid meeting people. Honestly, there's some kind of manipulative force in me that really makes me come up with the lamest excuses so I don't need to see someone face to face. I actually haven't been out, like outside of my apartment, for over two weeks. It's really pathetic. And I know the less I go out, the harder it will be to go out in the future. Eh, but avoiding anxiety really sounds like a good idea to me right now.
The psych center called back yesterday and I got new prescriptions for my sleepingpills and sedatives. So that's good. But they couldn't see in their system if I'm on some kind of waitinglist or not. But I seem to be registered there otherwise I wouldn't have gotten the prescriptions. But I don't have a psychiatrist who is responsible for me. And I don't know if and when I'll meet a new therapist. So how exactly am I supposed to get better and get back into society? Huh? I don' have any valid sickpapers right now either. It doesn't matter so much because I don't get any money from anywhere anyway. But it would be good for my self-esteem. To have it black on white that I'm not lazy but ill.
I'm going to take a painkiller now and then maybe exercise. My hyponchondriac thoughts tell me that I have meningitis. But I don't feel feverish. And it's a really uncommon illness. So I better take a painkiller so I don't get reminded of the headache and its causes constantly. My boyfriend is at the dentist and will probably get home in an hour or so. It would look good if I have exercised until then.
I need a life ?!?
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