Painkiller-madness

My headache hasn't gotten any better. I forced myself to get some things done yesterday but in the evening I was just sitting in the dark livingroom, crying. It hurt so much and my anxiety got really high because of it. I was also really convinced that I had either meningitis or a brain tumor. My mind works in mysterious ways. And when I woke up this morning the pain was still there. Damn! But I have the best boyfriend in the world, he got me painkillers. So I have taken two painkillers and I am high! Well, not really high but it feels like I have cotton in my head. I'm a bit slow.  I'm so freaking sensitive to medication. I can get all messed up by two painkillers, the simple kind, the kind that you can get over the counter. So I am having a lollipop in my mouth and I'm listening to The Cure. My headache is still there but it's not as throbbing as it had been this mornng. I won't drink any coffee today, keep my smoking to the lowest possible and drink lots of water. And take two painkillers every four hours. I have started a war on my headache! HA!

I cancelled my appointment with my socialworker T. He'll come over tomorrow instead. I really need to talk to someone who is remotely professional so if the headache still hasn't given in I'll just take painkillers. I'm sure he'll have a good time, seeing my all high. Haha. I called the psych center myself today. I just got too worried about being out of medication soon. Of course I pressed the wrong number in the option-menu and got a totally unfriendly person on the line who told me to choose another option. Anyway, I chose the other option in the stupid menu, had to leave my phone number and social security number and now I'm waiting for them to call back. I don't even care about any sick-papers or getting to know if I'm still on any waitinglist. I need new prescriptions. I need my sleepingmedication. But I wonder if I'm really still registered there. Funny thing: I called and had to leave my number. And I had forgotten my own phone-number. I'm really messed up!

I got some clothes I had ordered last week delivered today. And they look awesome! It's a skeleton-dress and a tshirt with a zombie-cat. I like weird clothes!